At the end of 2012, I felt like my life was a complete and utter mess. I was depressed and miserable and my life just took a turn for the worse in all areas, mental and physical health, school, and my relationships (thankfully I have wonderful friends that stuck by my side through all of it but I was not nearly the best friend I could be). I decided to leave college with one semester left to return home. I knew logically this may have been the worst decision I could have made but I knew with my full heart that I was supposed to come home (I later found out I could finish school from home). I needed to get better desperately and coming home I truly felt was the only way that would happen. Well I still struggled once I got home for a bit, I had moments where I felt like a complete failure and disappointment that after 4 and a half years of school I just left praying it would all work out also I never thought at 22/23 I would still be living under my parents roof. But within six months I saw an amazing change in myself, I got drastically better physically first and then mentally, I began to love myself again, I found my hope and began to love my life once again no matter what stage it was at. It was still a work in progress as we always are but I was back to myself. And I have been grateful everyday since that I came home. Not just for myself but for my family as well.
Key Point #1 (of this blog post):
Listen to your heart. Pray, receive an answer and follow through.
Thankfully because in June of 2013, my mother was diagnosed with melanoma for the second time. She had melanoma first in 1993, thanks to our great doctor that saw a weird shaped mole on her calf during a routine visit saved her then by getting her right in. I was only 3 when my mother went through this the first time, I don't remember too much just that my mom couldn't move and I had to be careful. But in June I was 23 and it was a whole different story. It was my mother and I couldn't imaging my life without her in it. So doctor's appointments, surgery, and every day after the surgery I wanted to be there for her through every step! Many prayers were answered and I received the best 23rd birthday present, my mother was once again cancer free. She was now left with two large indentations in her left leg. She was joking saying her swimsuit model days were over. I know she was joking, but I knew it was really bothering her. Shortly after I came across a quote that couldn't be more true.
Key Point #2:
Shortly after this physical trial came a big mental health trial for her. And once again I realized that I would do anything for her and be there for her every step of the way. She was suffering from severe depression, but no matter what she was not leaving my sight. If you know someone going through depression, my advice... Just Be There, leave the judgement at the door, and don't take anything personal. Don't try to tell them what to do or even what not to do. If they are clinically depressed, they need to get help through the form of a wonderful counselor and psychiatrist that prescribes them the proper medication. For a period of time for my mother, every minute of every day was a struggle for her, there were days that I would just sit in the recliner next to her and just sat with her, we would watch tv, when she wanted to talk we would talk, but I was there for whatever she needed. I don't say this for any purpose outside of the fact that I think the knowledge of mental illness is not well educated upon and the care for people in these situations. When you break your leg you go to the doctor and you get help, if you get cancer you go to a doctor and you get help. So I believe it's safe to say that if your mind is hurting or struggling you need to see a doctor and get help just as you would with any physical illness. My mother went to some wonderful doctors and every month she was better, she would have up and down periods as we all do but by December she already made a 180.
Key Point #3:
Leave all judgement, misconception. and personal issues at the door. Be loving, caring and sensitive to the needs of your loved one struggling. Educate yourself. Create a stress free, drama free environment. Be patient. And JUST BE THERE!!!
Now February 2014, my mother is in the hospital fighting off a staff infection. Long story short, an abscess started to form in the area she had lymph nodes removed last year when she was going through her second fight with melanoma. They believe that without having lymph nodes there caused the abscess to turn into a staph infection. First, I want everyone to know, if you have anything on your body that doesn't look or feel normal, if it begins to grow and spread, go to the doctor immediately. It is better safe than sorry. There are many infections that can become fatal so get help as soon as possible. Take care of your bodies and there are some wonderful doctors in this world that can literally save your life. My mother is still here on this Earth in part because of some amazing doctors.
Key Point #4:
Take careful inventory of your body/physical symptoms just as you would your finances or prized possession. Your body is a prized possession and a beautiful gift. We have been blessed to be in a time with wonderful modern medicine and well educated, gifted doctors, use them to your benefit.
Within the last year, I have seen my mom in pain of all sorts. I have seen one after another trial and tribulation come. And I have seen her fight like hell. She will joke around and say things like why can't I catch a break. But come on, cancer, clinical depression, losing our Mr. Cuddles, and now Staph. She AMAZES ME. What amazes me is she has never stopped fighting. She has had times where she is tired of fighting but she never stops. She has a choice to let all of this beat her up and give up but she never has. The second she had a minute of a good day in the midst of fighting all of these trials she was back to work, back to being a wife, mother, sister and friend the best she could.
Key Point #5:
All of us go through struggles that challenge our faith, our resiliency, our belief in ourselves. But it is our choice to let those struggles to get the best of us or to fight them with everything we have.
It is inevitable that we will be pushed, pulled, and almost broken through life. You may be going through a physical, mental, spiritual trial, or mixture of it all BUT always remember YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW!
Key Point #6:
YOU'RE AN OVERCOMER!!!
Great post Amanda! And great advice about depression especially. Just be there, let them talk and don't take anything personally. Very well said.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Summer I really appreciate your comment!!!
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