Stop Fearing and Start Living!

I have decided to make Sunday my motivational, inspirational blog post day. I think I might call it Starting Sunday Spectacularly but I don't know if I am completely sold on the name so if you have any suggestions please let me know I would love your input!!

Last week I spent a few hours on a plane to and from Las Vegas, and what is a plane trip without an awesome magazine. I got a few as I mentioned in my Preparing for Sin City Post, but my favorite was O: The Oprah Magazine, October 2013 Issue entitled "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living!" The majority of the magazine is based on overcoming fears and anxiety. I felt like I lived a large part of my life in fear and feeling many times overwhelming anxiety. Having these feelings can be consuming, overwhelming and defeating. Creating Amanda isn't just formed to share my journey overcoming weight but also my fear and anxiety.

Dr. Phil wrote a short article in this months issue based all on FEAR. "A psychology professor of mine used to say that 80 percent of decisions are based on fear rather than desire." Can you believe this? Unfortunately, I can. I can believe that whether we know it or not most of our decisions are made based on our worries and concerns and not our deepest wants and desires, even if the cost is minimal. It is understandable to not make decisions that would jeopardize your welfare or your families welfare but are you "punking out on your dreams? You need to start believing in yourself enough to go for it instead of settling into your comfort zone." It is so easy to settle in our comfort zone as I am sure most people are very aware of but comfort zones are exactly that comfortable, not incredible, not fulfilling, only comfortable. "Too often we settle for what we don't want instead of reaching for what we do. It's an epidemic that I call fear paralysis." Could you imagine now knowing this, being able to switch the gears in your brain to finally make choices not out of fear but out of faith and desire. Well good news... YOU CAN!! 

Dr. Phil recommends doing a "brutally honest 'decision audit' to find out whats dribing your choices." Here is what you do: list the top 7 decisions you have made in your life, and think back to how you made them, were they driven by aspiration or fear? Are you making decisions to help you move toward your dreams or to move away from your fears? "Trying and failing means the world has rejected you and your efforts, and rejection is our number one fear. But living- really living- is about taking chances, so what a shame if you never conquered your fears." To overcome fear paralysis, we need to start by not blowing the stakes of our decisions out of proportion. Sometimes our fear and anxieties exaggerate the consequences of our decisions to catastrophic measures when really they are minimal and solvable, so be realistic and clear about the possible outcomes and consequences of your decisions. Next, play the "what if" game, but play it all the way to the end, with best and worst case scenario. I also like writing down the pros and cons to my decisions which is similar to the "what if" game. Know the risks you are willing to take, what you can sacrifice, what you can bounce back from and what could cost you everything. But remember, "you'll never get ahead by playing it safe."

Now that we are overcoming our fears lets feel Joy!

Brene Brown, PhD, is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work and is author to some phenomenal books such as Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfection, and I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't). Brown's article in The Oprah Magazine titled "Dare to Feel Joy" is another short article to start living fully and feeling true joy. "We simply cannot know joy without embracing vulnerability- and the way to do that is to focus on gratitude, not fear. The good news is that joy, collected over time, fuels resilience- ensuring we'll have reservoirs of emotional strength when hard things do happen." Her DARE to "Daring to Feel Joy" requires 3 steps:

1. Stop the Train: When you are feeling overwhelmed and traumatized by all the "what ifs", be open and honest with yourself, take a deep breath and make a conscious decision not to reboard the overwhelming and overloaded thought and "what if" train.

2. Be Thankful: When you start recognizing you are feeling fear, use it as a signal to switch gears and think of all the things you are grateful for. "Speak your gratitude aloud to others, or write it in your journal." This truly does work!! Fear is solely our personal emotions and concerns but feeling gratitude gets us out of our own heads and realize we really have some wonderful things we have been blessed with and things are okay.

3. Start a Practice: "Joy is a spiritual practice we have to work at." Appreciate everyday moments."It means not living in fear of what I could lose, but softening into the moments I have."

I absolutely love the advice from both of these profound individuals. I can not wait to start using their advice in "Creating Amanda", which in my eyes is one that doesn't make decisions out of fear but out of faith in myself and in my dreams, and feeling joy and gratitude for all the amazing things I have been given. I hope you will start this journey with me. A small thing I am going to work hard on this week is affirmations and on the top of my list is "I am Fearless."Create your own affirmations and repeat them daily, this will help you in Creating whoever it is you want to be! Remember there are no limitations!

Lets Stop Fearing, Stop Worrying and Start Living!!!